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Channel: Dear Coquette
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On fun-sized advice

Liberation feminism or equality feminism? In a patriarchal society, there is no difference. What do I do if I don’t like the politics of my therapist? Find another therapist. (It’s less about the...

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On more fun-sized advice

She told me she is pregnant. I don’t really feel anything. I mean, I get it but … whatever. Shouldn’t I feel some emotions? Don’t worry. You will. I love my boyfriend but when he’s really drunk he’s...

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On existential FOMO

Is it normal to have a mini existential crisis over a long term relationship? I’m in my mid-20s, I’ve been with this guy for over half a decade, and it’s really starting to freak me out, but I don’t...

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On screaming into nothing

My ex has hurt and raped women, myself included. I cut him out of my life, but I can’t get rid of the guilt. I feel responsible for what he did (and probably continues to do) to these women. I know...

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On fun-sized advice

I first learned about you three years ago and back then I was a hardcore Republican. Now I’m basically a socialist hippie. What have you done to me? I’ve sharpened your critical thinking skills while...

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On where you want to be

What kind of answer can I give when they asked where I want to be in 5 years? The truth is, I just want to still want to be alive in 5 years.   Tell them you expect to be a different person in five...

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On fun-sized advice

2015 in five words. Lines drawn. Pick a side. Would we know if you had kids? No. (But I don’t.) If I wait, will the men I know grow up and stop balking at my expectations for (reciprocated) favors,...

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On more fun-sized advice

Do you have any friends who are Republicans? I mean, sure. I’ve been to Orange County. I was a total dick to someone who was in to me and now I just got the door shut in my face by someone I have...

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On walking away from it all

Could you ever just walk away from it all? Not just a daydream you keep in your back pocket, but honestly drop everything and walk away.   I did. A number of weeks ago, I dropped everything and walked...

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On fun-sized advice

If I’m in an open relationship and my primary partner knows my secondary partner but the secondary partner has no clue, is it cheating? It depends on the terms of your secondary relationship. Is your...

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On the eye of the beholder

I can’t help but envy the depth and texture of your life glimpsed through the anecdotes you’ve shared. It feels like my life choices, or maybe just my nature, have limited my opportunities for...

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On fun-sized advice

last semester of college and my childhood best friend is moving away. Why do I feel so damn sad about it even though we’re in college anyway? Because your childhood is over, and it’s a thing worth...

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On your first trip to the psychiatrist

Hi Coquette. I’ve written to you many times and never pressed send, but you’ve been a very helpful presence in my life. I’m writing to you now because I’m going to a psychiatrist for the first time in...

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On fun-sized advice

If I don’t have a concrete reason for not wanting to keep seeing a guy, is it okay to break it off? Or should I stick it out and see if I start feeling butterflies? To your first question, you don’t...

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On the second weekend

Please help me. I purchased weekend two wristbands for Coachella and am unclear on whether weekend two is actually going to be okay. I’m traveling there with a girlfriend, my third Coachella and her...

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On ziggy stardust

David Bowie is gone. Why am I so scared? Because we’ll never get to go to outer space.

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On the sins of David Bowie

“David Bowie had sex with a 13 year old.” Should I be resisting the urge to comment this on everyone’s Facebook posts idolizing the guy?   Yes, you should be resisting the urge. Mostly because you...

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On fun-sized advice

How do I gain the strength to not let the suffering of others affect my happiness? I’m not saying I want to forget that people suffer, but how can I come to terms with having food and a place to live...

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On men who play video games

But Coquette, there are lots of quality video games with more than worthwhile storylines and soundtracks. Yeah, but I’m looking for quality men with worthwhile storylines and soundtracks.

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On fun-sized advice

What’s the difference between a relationship ending and a relationship failing? A relationship can fail without ending just as easily as it can end without failing. The two often coincide, but they are...

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