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On more fun-sized advice

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not a peep from you about wikileaks confirming everything bernie sanders supporters have been mocked for believing. classic. let me guess, you believe the leaks are fake and that the russians did it. tell me where iraq’s WMDs are again? can’t wait to watch your girl be forced to drop out days before the election.
The leaks aren’t fake, the Russians did do it, and we aren’t mocking you for believing that Hillary Clinton played hardball in the primary. We’re mocking you because you’re a bunch of whiny toddlers throwing a temper tantrum because you don’t want to eat your vegetables.

Which do you consider the better option, double majoring in political science and international studies or majoring in International Political Economy and Development ? I’m having a hard time deciding between the two, and would love to hear your opinion.
Better is a value judgment, but if you want the more challenging degree, without a doubt choose the International Political Economy major with a double minor in Foreign Language and Global Business. That shit is impressive, whereas every kid who owns a suit and wants to study abroad double majors in Political Science and International Studies.

I just turned 20, but I feel like I just turned 80. Partying and drinking and going out sound exhausting, and I feel empty every time I do somehow make it out. How do I want to want to have fun again?
You want to have fun. You just haven’t realized yet that you get to decide what fun is.

My friends and I are in a debate and I would love your opinion. Is it appropriate for couples to share unrestricted access to each other’s phones?
If that’s how y’all wanna live, do your thing. That being said, boundaries are important even in the healthiest of relationships, and I certainly wouldn’t put up with that shit for one second.

Have you ever used the terms “lit” “bae” or “yaaaas queen?” I can’t see it at all and I’m laughing thinking about it.
Lit used to be slang for intoxicated, so I’ve used it in that sense. I’ve used bae ironically, and though I respect its appropriate use, I’ve never once in my life said the phrase “yaaaaas queen.”

I just got asked to Netflix and chill but I haven’t waxed my pubes in a month. Have I committed a vulva faux pas?
Nope. It’s just pubic hair. Honestly, it’s no big deal. You can Netflix and chill and actually chill.

You write “self help books are for fucking losers” in your self help book and it has only made me love you more.
I love you too, but I didn’t write a self-help book.

I’m in grad school working toward my MFA and all I want to do is tell my colleagues about your work. You’ve influenced me so much, in such small profound ways.
Tell ’em I said hey.

I’m not attracted to my husband.
Okay. Neither am I.

Can you talk about the last time you felt envious of someone?
The last person for whom I felt envy was my previous crush’s crush. Pretty basic stuff, actually.

I just met an actor and had a great time. Why do you rule them out?
Ha! You’ll see.

should i fuck my best friend’s husband?
Only if all three of you are into it.

Would you rather fuck John Oliver or John Stewart?
Stewart. No contest.


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