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Channel: Dear Coquette
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On being worthy of friendship

You answered a question about fixing your own broken-ness and not allowing broken people to burden you anymore by deciding you’re worthwhile. I get that in theory but I’m a people-pleaser all the way...

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On Hillary

Hillary is a a liar hiding a hawkish, plutocratic agenda behind women’s issues and gun control. She may even be worse than Obama on foreign policy issues. I remember you saying that you supported...

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On relationship seppuku

You recently answered a question on the “cut-off date” for someone you’re not in love with. I am in love with my partner. However, I cried when I read the guideline questions you responded with (needs...

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On fun-sized advice

Are feelings rational? Feelings are emotions that have come into awareness. It’s not that feelings are irrational. It’s just that rationality doesn’t apply to feelings. Rationality applies to thoughts....

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On house of cards

Getting pumped up for HOC Season four. I’m re-watching all the episodes up to now, and I’m CONVINCED at this point that Frank is a homosexual who only has sexual relationships with women he can exploit...

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On a mysterious tattoo

Hey, I commissioned some art from a friend for a project that ended up going nowhere, and then fell out of touch with this friend. I’ve got all the rights to it, paid in full, but recently I’ve been...

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On almost but not quite

I’m having trouble committing to the guy who wants forever with me because I can’t stop thinking about the “almost but not quite a relationship” I had before. I want some space but I’m 90% sure the...

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On fun-sized advice

I keep getting this fleeting empty feeling inside my chest. I’m not even sure if it’s emptiness or dread. It feels like when a coke comedown hits although I haven’t done hard drugs in years. It lasts a...

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On writing a bunch

You’ve been writing a bunch lately. I’m certainly not complaining. It’s been great. I’m curious if it has to do with your move? Did you change your profession? Do you have more free time because you’re...

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On your pussy

This is a painfully embarrassing question but one that I have needed to ask since I ‘developed’ and my best friend shamed me. My inner labia hang about a centimetre and my outers are tiny, I feel...

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On fun-sized advice

are politics + economics just our egos fighting each other over who is right? Nope. Politics and economics are just our species fighting over who gets the limited resources. I have an opportunity to...

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On your hot boyfriend

He’s gorgeous and I’m average and I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. The thing is, he’s always been the one to pursue me, and I’ve been the one to pull away. I’m smart and accomplished and...

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On mutual infidelity

While I was on vacation with my friends I cheated on my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years and fooled around with a guy I met. I came clean and he forgave me, but a week ago, he told me that after I confessed,...

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On smoking your problems away

My boyfriend is making me a chain smoker. Not literally obviously. I just can’t tolerate an hour with him without a cigarette. We’ve been together almost 3 years and we live together. I love him and...

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On books about the police

Can you recommend a good book on this “fuck the police” stuff? I want to look deeper into this.   Rise of the Warrior Cop by Radley Balko If you only read one book about police in America, this is the...

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On national football

The Super Bowl for me means the trails and museums are less crowded, a great time to run errands, etc., and then I recently read an article revealing the spike in human trafficking in host cities to...

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On falling helplessly

I had a one night stand with a co-worker after the company Holiday party. I always thought he was cute and I was very drunk. He came back to my place and at first it was just about the sex but then we...

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On controlling vs feeling

How do you know when to control your emotion versus just feel them? I know you’ve mentioned both, but they almost sound like contradictory methods of coping…?   If an emotion has come into awareness...

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On fun-sized advice

Where’s the line between empathy and enmeshment? Empathy and enmeshment aren’t really on a spectrum, but what I think you’re really asking is, “at what point does my concern for others become an...

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On your boyfriend’s boner

We’re 3 years in, long distance for half of it, we got through it, and I moved in four months ago. Our relationship is loving, respectful, fun, adventurous, silly. However, he’s recently had trouble...

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